Don’t worry, I won’t be writing this much every time. But now, when everything on the farm feels so new, I notice lots of things I might want to remember later.

I’ve been getting up at least once in the night to load the stove. Last night, I loaded in a large round log at around 1am and almost thought better of it. But I went back to bed, and after waking a few times to the coyote party going on in the moonlight and the coughing-shout of a fox, I ended up sleeping in later than I have in months…6:30 AM!

And it was cold outside of the blankets! The log was too big, and maybe too damp, and the fire had nearly gone out. Fortunately, the eucalyptus firewood that was delivered yesterday burns much better, and with a bit of finagling I got things cooking again.

Our morning walk was beautiful (a phrase I’ll probably repeat often). The fog that had settled below us was rising and the day was warming up. Before we left the property, I talked to J for a while, while Laika played with his three rat terriers. I gave him some feed money and said I’d get eggs on my way back.

During our walk, I saw some deer and leashed Laika before she could notice and give chase. When we got closer, the deer bolted and ran into some brush, and some other animals gave a strange cry. Laika stopped in her tracks and didn’t move, then tried to insist on running home with her tail between her legs. I’m guessing it was a coyote, but we never saw what made the noise, and eventually I convinced her to move along.

Got our eggs on the way back up the driveway. I started thinking of the eggs from our hens in Sebastopol as “coddled eggs”, since I took a lot of pains to provide clean nest boxes. If there was any dirt on them, I’d only have to brush it off. Here, the eggs are quite dirty, and I washed the whole dozen of the before stashing them in the fridge.

Living here is is much more deliberate than other places I’ve lived, much in the same way camping is. So far I like it, but I need to pay attention and stay on my toes. It’s up to me to make sure we have heat, that my firewood stays dry, that I have the water I need for the day in the yurt to save trips back and forth. It takes more effort to stay clean and tidy; I’m responsible for my own trash and recycling. I feel more in touch with my use (and reuse) of resources. I’m starting to feel my way into a routine, and so far have enjoyed that so many of the little chores involve more time outside.

We’ll see if I enjoy it as much in the rains. I was stacking firewood this afternoon when it started, then tarped everything back up and came inside to continue unpacking and arranging. My desk area and all books are now unpacked and mostly arranged. It’s looking pretty homey in here already!

This morning’s highlights were getting a load of firewood delivered, and convincing Laika to be quiet while Patty was outside directing an eco-tour of the ranch. Laika got into a bit of a scuffle with a visiting dog today, and she seems a little overprotective of her new home. But, all things considered, she’s doing well, and I’ll continue to work with her to get her acclimated.

I found out that it costs $29 to have a tick tested for Lyme disease by the Sonoma County Health Department. But only 2% tend to come back positive, so I feel ok in taking my chances. I’ll watch for symptoms. Hopefully all I’ll have is this ugly painful bump on the side of my neck. Ordered more Frontline for Laika today.

This afternoon I took my packing materials (except for a few boxes left to unpack) to the town of Bodega Bay to be recycled by another person who’s moving. While there, I checked out Diekmann’s Bay Store, to get a better idea of what they have in case I want to avoid a trip to Sebastopol and Santa Rosa sometime. They seem to have more hardware than the typical small-town general store.

But I was really more interested in checking out my new home town, Bodega, which is a few miles inland from the town of Bodega Bay. Stopped at the Post Office and picked up my mail, and a package from Rob, the friendly postmaster. Then I visited Artisans’ Co-op, where I was pleasantly surprised to see some of Randy Snyder’s work, along with many other beautiful things.

Then I stopped in at Hamilton Trading Company, an antique store, mainly just to be nosey and see what they had. But I found two trays of beautiful (and very reasonably priced) sterling silver rings, and it didn’t take me long pick one out to wear home…a big pretty Red Jasper ring. Joy, the woman who sold me the ring, also gave me a great story to go with it. In the early 70’s, a local counter-culture figure went to Tibet and became involved in helping some Tibetans escape the invading Chinese. However, once out of their country, they had no way of supporting themselves, so he helped set up a couple of businesses for them to work in, one of them a jewelry-making company. There were also local fundraisers, helped out by the Grateful Dead, and they actually flew a plane full of supplies (and Dead t-shirts) to the refugees. My ring is one of the rings made by that group.

Quick stop at the surf shop to inquire about tide calendars…I was surprised to see Ben Dougherty behind the counter. Everyone I talk to here seems to know Patty and the goat ranch. I really like the sense of community.

My last stop was at Bodega Country Store to pick up a few supplies. It’s a very well-stocked store for such a small town; the veggies look fresh, and I’m happy to pay a little extra for some of the things I needed for the convenience of having a it available without a long drive.

Then the short drive home, in the beautiful slanted sunlight of later afternoon in winter. As I pulled and parked, I noticed that there was something familiar about the people visiting the ranch. Lo and behold, it was Penny Livingston-Stark and James Stark, founders of Regenerative Design Institute and among my permaculture and Ecology of Leadership courses! It was great to see them…they were here to buy two goats from Patty.

Many have asked how many goats are on the ranch…there are about 42, which Patty says is the lowest number she’s ever had. That will change in the spring when all the babies are born. Should be fun!

I really like the sense of community there is out here. Everyone in town has been super friendly and welcoming, and it was a real boost to see Penny and James.

We had a beautiful sunset tonight:

And now a beautiful moon and some coyote yips far in the distance. I’m very grateful for all.

After two months of living a semi-nomadic live between Redwood City and Sebastopol, I finally moved into my own place: the yurt at the goat ranch. The ranch is a permaculture site and home of an artisan cheese business. Steve and I had actually looked at it as a potential rental a year and a half ago, but it wasn’t suitable for a couple. When we separated, I contacted ranch owner, and inquired about renting again.

So yesterday, an amazing group of people met up in Sebastopol and moved my belongings from storage in the garage there and into the yurt here. I feel incredibly blessed to have such good friends; the move might have been incredibly depressing, with all of the feelings I have about the separation. But my friends turned it into a fun and even joyous occasion, and the cloud of grief lifted for the short three hours it took to move everything. Suddenly, it was all done, and at that moment the rain started. Very lucky!

So there are three of us now living at the upper end of the ranch: one in a cabin, the owner in the house, and me in the yurt. And there is one person living lower on the property. Last night, by quirk of the holidays, I was the only resident of the upper ranch here. Laika was ecstatic, spending as much time as possible outside. I went to sleep, astonished that I could hear not only the harbor horn at Bodega Bay, but also the ocean itself. A Great Horned Owl hooted from a nearby tree.

In the morning, I craved a shower, but was reluctant. Because the shower is outdoors, I’d been thinking I’d change my habits and start showering near the end of the day when it’s warmer. But I decided to try it in the morning anyhow. It was 45 degrees out, may as well see what it’s like. So I did, and was very pleasantly surprised; there’s hot water, of course, and the minimal time to undress, dry off, and dress wasn’t terrible. So far, most things have been like that here….I’ve worried about hardships, but then find that things roll along pretty smoothly. I think I’m even getting the hang of the wood-burning stove.

After breakfast, I took a walk with Laika, stopping for a conversation with Jordan, who lives down the hill. He does many interesting things, among them training his three rat terriers to do useful things around the farm and the winery where he works. Jordan manages the poultry on the property, and by contributing to feed costs, I can get a supply of eggs and even meat, all right here.

We walked down to Tannery Creek road and then a little further up the road. Lots of birds, of course, probably my favorite being an adult Cooper’s Hawk sitting in a tree. I also saw a large morning fly-out of Turkey Vultures, and then later in the day counted fifty of them soaring over the ridge before I gave up counting..I guess there was about a hundred.

I spent my day unpacking and taking care of small details. I ordered a cord of firewood, a gift from my brother’s family, and it will be delivered tomorrow morning. A good chore for me, stacking firewood! Eventually I’ll work into rotation on the ranch, feeding goats and then milking in the spring. Every hour of work I can do here means money I can deduct from next month’s rent. And you’d be surprised what an old yurt without plumbing runs for in Sonoma county! (But worth every penny!)

My friend Thelmajean visited in the afternoon, and I could see her initial apprehension about the situation melt away. She agreed that it simply has a “good feeling” here. It seems to be a common vibe with permaculture sites.

This evening, there was a ranch dinner where I was treated to Peruvian chili chicken and a delicious persimmon “pudding” – similar to a cake, but steamed into a lucious moistness. I really like everyone here at the ranch so far. It feels like we have a small community.

During dinner, I was distressed to find another tick, dug in deep, this time on the other side of my collarbone. I got one during Christmas Bird Count last week, and am not sure where this one came from. P is not only a permaculturist and artisan cheesemaker, she is also a registered nurse, and she helped me with tick removal. Identifying it as the species that’s a possible carrier of Lyme disease, she prepared it to send to the health department and gave me instructions on calling them and arranging for a test. All in all, I’ve felt very taken care of here.

Laika, confined to the yurt, howled during the rest of dinner when I disturbed her by coming back for a pair of tweezers. I think she realized I was still on the property, and she wanted out to roam with her new buddy Jasper. My cat, Scout, has been hiding behind the kitchen cabinet all day. I’m hoping he comes out tonight, and I’m trying to be patient with him but would like to see him eat, drink, and use his litterbox. But I expect both pets to adjust gradually.

So. There’s still more unpacking to do. I need to get a bed, but Craigslist is looking very promising there…hoping for a twin-sized captains bed….small and with drawers for storage.

I’m fortunate in so many ways. The road to getting here was not one I would have chosen. I still have a lot of grief over the separation. But it’s opened me up to the feeling that I have a lot of growing up to do. This seems to be a good place to do it.

Scout just came out of hiding. I think we’re going to be ok.

Light incense; meditate

Chant to the elements: Earth my body, water my blood, air my breath, and fire my spirit.

I come here today to honor the beginning of my marriage in the desert, to honor its life, and to grieve its ending here at the sea. I thank the wind, the sun and moon, the sea, and the earth for holding me in their unfailing beauty.

I am grateful for the joy of our union that we shared with our families and friends; I honor those friends and family now for their love and support as I come here today, alone.

I thank all of the animal spirits for their guidance and companionship, for visiting me in waking and in dreams, especially coyote, the big cats, owl, fox, dog, and bear. [added on-site: seal, pelican]

I am grateful for the time I shared life with another, and honor his own heart, spirit and grief.

I ask for the courage and wisdom to accept my own feelings, for compassion for myself and others, and for the healing of deep forgiveness.

I ask for the vision and intuition to know the soil of my life, to care for my roots and to honor the growth that manifests in the outer world.

I ask for help to not to fall into cynicism, and even for the ability to grow in my capacity to give and receive love.

I ask to know my own truth.

By removing this ring, I accept the ending of this marriage and take responsibility for my own role in it from beginning to end.

I accept the pain of grief now as I accepted the delight of its joy then, and I acknowledge that one does not diminish the other.

Chant: Heart Sutra

Fitzgerald Marine Reserve, Moss Beach, CA, Dec. 10, 2009.